DEL TWEET

Saving The World "EMOTIONALLY"

I've made several references to "saving the world emotionally" and someone asked what exactly does that mean. Our feelings (emotions) are a strong driving force for our actions. Knowledge or the lack thereof are the co pilots. When you read or hear of people committing suicide (which is something I'm very sensitive about) its all led by feelings(emotions). They felt alone. They felt misunderstood. They felt unwanted, unloved. God gave me the gift of healing through words. There's healing in my poetry and other bodies of work. My specialty field is emotions. I write about things most people want. I'm very honest and transparent in my day to day. I have felt things. I have felt dark things. I have felt ugly things. I felt things that were unfair. I've been molested. I have had a sex addiction problem. I have had issues with my mom. My dad passed away. I lost sight in one eye temporarily and the right side of my face was damaged and those things made me feel things. I write about it because I'm not the only one. However I am a strong one. I am one God can depend on to go through these things and be a living testimony and inspiration. I'm trying to save the world emotionally because I feel if I can heal some one's emotions I can change their self damaging actions. Its not a game to me. Its not to pull boys. This is my assignment and sometimes its overwhelming. When I was in DC shortly after my accident I wanted to die so bad because life just seemed to really get dark, but in my heart I knew if I die millions die maybe not physically but emotionally people will die. I have to write. I have to put these books out. I have to go through what I go through and come through it because I have to save the world emotionally!

HIV STATUS (Ranking Better Than You)

It amazes me the inner need to feel better than the next person in this shallow ass African American gay culture. We have taken a virus and the diagnosis of or lack of as an opportunity to "show your better." Its beautiful to get tested and be negative I completely understand that feeling. The issue is when we take that negative status and raise it above someone's head as if you are better than someone who is pos. Let's be clear we are all one fuck or blowjob away from contracting the virus so you should be more compassionate with your insensitive asses. I've seen on Adam and Jackd how people are like HIV neg only and just because someone posted it on their profile doesn't mean they are but what kills me is that you do what you do because you read something. I treat everybody like their humans not a status. For those who are POS and out and get on this judgmental platform FB and try to encourage people to be safe and if someone is positive to be encouraged. I think that courage and love for people is so God like and beautiful. However, I feel some people need to humble themselves. God has the best jokes so be careful how you treat people.

Be Responsible For Your Past!

People always say dont judge me on my past blah blah blah. Well, I say stop creating a past that you dont want to be judged for. Everything you do today creates a past for tomorrow. Dont be reckless with your life today. You are the only person writing your story. Stop doing shit then wanting to flip through those pages. Be responsible!

What Drives You

What drives you?  Seriously, what drives you?  Is it the car or truck they drive?  Is it the part of town they live in?  Is it the amount of money they make?  Is it the labels on their back and feet?  Is it about their body?  Is it about the size of their dick?  Is it the fatness of their butts?  What drives you?

What drives me?
One's ability to love #UnconditionalLove

I've been in circles with different people of different levels of association and it seems as if love isn't one of the top three drivers.  Yet, Love is the one thing that can outlast any and everything that you could possibly name.

So I ask what drives you.  As you sit at home and get online and maybe flirt with your Facebook friends, and you go from profile to profile on A4A...what drives you?  Does loneliness find you at the end of every night?  Is it possible that what drives you is driving you to loneliness and void?  Living a shallow life or searching for fulfillment in things that have no substance can leave you pretty empty.

       What drives you?

Knock Knock: Why Are You Here

Knock Knock (Why Are U Here ?)

Why are you here?  That was the first thought that ran across my mind as the knock became louder at my door.  This Love-Spaceship could definitely use a co-pilot, but are you here to fill those shoes or are you just interested in seeing me with no purpose behind it.  I decided long time ago I couldn't be a man of No Direction and No Purpose.  I must have some intent in all that I do.  I must have a reason behind any mission I was on.  I took years away from the dating scene to work on me and to learn me.  Now I am at a point where things are going pretty good.  Some people say, why are you so open to settling down?  Well, my response was what more is there to look for multiple sex partners, constant emotional rollercoasters with different hosts...I'll pass.  Sometimes I feel gifted and then cursed in the same.  I am a little more advance than others.  My eyes see things a little different than others.  Normally, when I first see a person I know the direction I want to take my interaction (dating, sex, friends, or just associates).  The reason I know is because I am so in tune to myself that I'm very clear of what I want and from whom I want it from.  I see myself as a Good Catch...and I DO want to be caught.  So I know in order for me to get where I want to go..I have to travel (meaning make calls, text, take out time, and just simply interact).  This is the only way to confirm my initial thought as well a create a bridge for a love journey.  You can call me Love's Rule Rebel...because I don't follow them.  No man or thing can tell me how I can have love and where it will come from and how I can achieve it.  I believe that as long as I am me and I believe positively in what can be for me...IT WILL BE!  Now that takes me back to that question...Why are you here?   I am walking to the door of my Love-Spaceship because someone is out there knocking. 

Yet, I can't help but wonder do they know why they are knocking.  I'm not here for entertainment purposes and there is much more to me than the exterior that host this Genuine soul of love and all things that it consists of.  Now I just wrote a letter to Cupid Hustle about what I want and need.  How disappointed would I be to encounter another heartbreak or disappointment?  I'm not a rusher, yet I am a risker.  I lay my cards on the table and play the game at your pace, because personally I'm cool either way as long as we are clear of the mission.  Its funny how back in the day people would meet someone they like and instantly they was together and they would stay with them and build a family.  They just walked into the situation embracing all that may occur with an undying vow that they will make whatever work and stay together...and THEY DID!  Nowadays, people are so DAMN scared to do one thing...TRY!  So once again I go back to that question, Why are you here?  My heart is fragile, yet strong and made to be a warrior for love.  All I'm saying is if you are not interested in being the co-pilot for my Love-Spaceship...don't knock on my door....if you want to find out more about me and see if we can share this Love that can be so Great and Far Fetched from Reality..Tell Me! 

This ultimate question came to me and made me re-think everything.  Of course no one will say I just met you, let’s be together...I GET THAT!  However, what are you intentions, what direction would you like to go?  Some people say you shouldn't go into things with any hopes or expectations.  I don't understand that!   How can you look forward to anything without setting forth anything to look forward to?  That's just like going to work, with no direction of advancing there or setting forth any type of goal.  You could even just say I’m trying to pay my bills......THERE YOU HAVE AN INTENT!  So that’s smoke when people say let's just see what will happen....Nothing will ever happen.  Have you ever sat in the tub and said I'm just going to sit here and see if I get clean...NOPE!  You have to put in work!  You have to get your soap, towel, water and GO TO WORK with the intent of being clean.

Communication has to be in existence in order to get to know someone.  There are so many forms of communicating, (calling, texting, emailing, IM-ing, KIK, InstaDM, Facetime, Facebooking, hanging out, and oh yea Camming)  C'mon people....if you met someone that you know is a good catch and you yourself want to be caught...make a Move!  Start your journey of travel to a destination...you don't have to go superfast or slow...you two find a median and work towards making something beautiful!  What else in life is worth more than having the one that was created for you?

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I still hear a knock that seems to be faint...could I be scaring them away because I'm sure of what I want...now because someone is sure of what they want doesn't mean they are rushing you...You feel rushed only if you have no idea of what you want.  Relax all they said is they know what they want and are working towards that period!  Let's face what we want ultimately and go for it.  You could never get a job; if you don't fill out an application and go on an interview...It's just that simple.

I am going to open this door because the person on the other side of it could be the one that was created for me but I would never know if I don't acknowledge the knock at my door.

Do you hear someone knocking at yours....have you thought about opening the door...have you thought about completing a dream of love and making it reality.

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Remember we all been hurt!  I truly have SEVERAL TIMES..but don't charge your creation with things that an Imposter did to you...let's give love a try and everyone get a chance to get out of this world and create their own with the one that was created for them.  

LET LOVE RULE!

Now That You Met My DICK

Now That You Met My DICK

I guess depending on the time of day and the mood I'm in is who you will meet. Don't turn your face up at me, we all been there before. Well, I've been doing me (bettering myself) making sure I would be who I need to be when that right one comes along. I've enjoyed single life to the fullest, but just ready for that ultimate connection. Strangely enough I meet you. The epitome of what you need to be in the streets and everything I could ask for in the sheets. Normally, a first conversation entails you're common questions age, what do you do for a living, how you like having fun,…you know just a real friendly, general conversation. Wildflower driving me wild, you had me on some straight phone sex on our first day of phone conversation. Now, I'm a very dominant guy so normally I'm pretty good with keeping control of the conversation or control over myself shall I say. When I first felt you going in the direction, I brought us back to "Just Met World" a couple of times. Now, I don't know if deep down inside I wanted to talk about sex as much as you were or if you tricked me into it…lol. Whichever it was, I was all in. I was all into you and everything we were talking about. Yet, I'm tripping like I would have never thought that you were into the things we discussed. Secretly, I was excited to know you were. The entire day I stayed basically naked and by my phone charger.  We were sharing stories and teasing each other with the "What I Would Do To You" stories. So okay its 11pm and I have over worked myself…Thanks To You. I stand in the shower like Damn what a freak …. I LOVED IT. Now, one thing about Libras is we love sex and it is truly an art to us…and let's just say we don't like amateur shows…PROFESSIONALS only!

Well, I'm making my mental notes about Wildflower. I'm checking off the GOOD things about them and writing down the other things I need to go over to make sure this is truly an investment and not some Hotbox longing for some Maintenance work from the temporary Super. I mean don't get me wrong…it's so many things I want to do to Wildflower. However, Del Antonio’s sexual attraction will die almost instantly once realizing there isn't any other type of stimulants. Well, in comes the text messages and he was being as graphic and detailed as a text message can hold. Then there I was on hold….I had to stop and drive the car and say baby, I love your sexual hunger but for lack of better words…..what's your favorite color? Wildflower said favorite color underwear…I'm like NO….tell me something else about you outside of what you want to do with my dick.

How long you think the conversation lasted after that?

I'm all in for Hardcore sex…..but can you also tell me about the last book you read, what do you think of the democrat’s standpoint on the economy, your religious beliefs, and most of all what do you want out of LIFE & LOVE.

Forgiving Doesn't Mean

Why Are We Here?

Your Spirit

Your spirit is the loudest thing about you so no matter what you say that's what I listen to.

Hello/Goodbye

And Honestly I'm Like....

The Misconception!

The misconception is that you have to work or try to convince someone that you are worthy of love.  Bullshit!!!  You are love and it's your birthright to receive it.  It should never be if you do this or if you do that, you are deemed loveable.  You are loveable without any standards, requirements or checklist.  Thank God I learned that!  No more trying to show or prove how awesome I am and confess why I should be loved.  No need!!!  I am love therefore love is me and someone else out there gets that and we will co-create love together....

HONESTY

Being honest is the most courageous thing you can do for your spirit..."your spirit" ...others may not enjoy your courage but dont stop being courageous!!!!

SUICIDE: It's REAL

SUICIDE: It's real and I know how it feels to hurt so bad that you feel like death is the only way out.  I attempted suicide a couple of times and was scared as shit when I was doing it.  But it gets "BETTER" later honestly!!  I just want to encourage anyone who may be feeling down or feeling like life has gotten the best of the them.  It may seem dark but I promise you the light will come,  God showed me my purpose on this Earth as a healer through words.  That's why I write.  When my friends and associates call me to party, they will tell you I say all the time that I can't because I'm writing.  I want to save the world emotionally in all the ways I can.

Don't Give Up!

My friends are all different but all bring a little something special to the table.  I have friends of different heights, weights, nationalities, personalities, and sexuality.  A friend of mine had been telling me he was depressed for a while but do to my demanding job and my own drama I haven't had time to be there like he needed me to be until tonight.  This particular friend is gay.  He began to remove his band aids and expose all his wounds to me tonight.  He expressed his disappointment and frustration with being gay.  The only thing odd to me is the same things he expressed, I heard from my straight friends as well.  The only difference is the passion that laced his conversation to me.  He began to say how he met a guy and thought everything was good until out of the blue he left and said he needed to live a straight life.  No sign or anything just up and left.  He began to tell me a series of stories one after another constantly displaying the pain he was feeling through his relationships.  He thought that it may be his body.  He began to start starving himself and working out excessively to be liked to be admired to be desired to feel like he may have a chance.  Funny enough, the only thing about this is he found himself with hotter dudes but still heartbroken.  He said Del all I want is 1.  One dude that could love him for who he is and be satisfied with him.  What do I say?  What could I say?  He began to say how freaky he is and how willing he was to please his mate, however nothing was ever good enough.  He began to say his life is ruined all because he is gay.  Then there was a tear that fell from his eyes and he looked at me and said you don't know what it’s like.  He was all in his emotions so I allowed him to feel how he felt.  He began to say how he wants to become a bug chaser.  For those who don't know what that is..that's someone who seeks pos people to become infected so that they will die by not taking care of themselves.  My heart stopped and I became in a very weird form of state of shock.  I said dude you can't!  Whatever happened has happened but you can start right now today try again change all things you don't like.  He went forth to tell me that I didn't know what he was feeling because I am attractive and can have anybody I want.  I said, HA I WISH!  Obviously, he didn't read my blogs.  I have been rejected, hurt, mistreated, lied to and called ugly...but so what.  It’s not the end of me, they have no power over me.  I explained to him that I want the very things he desire and so do alot of people.  I also said if you believe that you are worthy of it, it will come.  We talked for a little while longer.  I couldn't stop thinking about our conversation.  He felt so low due to disappointment in those he dated and committed to that he was just ready to end it.  The very last thing I told him was whatever your story is, if you don't want it to be your story you have the power to change it starting now.  I asked myself can you feel so alone to the point you no longer want to live..is that possible?  And it was.  He got what he wanted and he became HIV pos.  He disappeared for a while and finally I ran into him.  He looked great.  We talked and he told me this is my life and I can’t surrender it to people or to circumstances.  He told me that he was on his meds regularly and now undetectable.  We caught up because years had passed. 

I know it gets hard sometimes but please don’t give up.

You Want A Good Man?

You Want A Good Man?

I hear so many people say they want a Good Man.  The thing is honestly some people don't have a clue how to appreciate, maintain, nor love a Good Man.  The reason is because they have yet to Be A Good Man to themselves.

I hear so many people expressing their wishes for external satisfaction and internally they are deteriorating.  Everything starts at home with you first.  You must understand yourself.  You must know how to nurture yourself.  You MUST be happy within.  You must know how to self heal, self respect and self love first. 

You say you want a Good Man when you treat yourself like shit!

We All Make Mistakes

We all make mistakes so let's not keep count!

Can you be sensitive in an insensitive moment?  How often do you remember the last time you made a mistake in the midst of watching someone else make a mistake?  Are you the one that becomes self righteous looking down on the one making the mistake presently?  Are you the one who humbles themselves and finds a moment to relate and use that opportunity to encourage the one who made the mistake?  Where are your acts of love and kindness in those moments?  None of us are perfect and we all fall short sometimes. When you have done wrong or made a terrible mistakes what is the reaction you desire from someone else?  Do you react in the same way when someone has done you wrong?

There are some people who waits for the times you mess up so they can make a note.  Some people honestly keep count.  Should you keep count?  Is there a limit to mistakes? Can you only make x amount of mistakes towards someone or is it okay for one to make many mistakes and they can be forgiven?

 I find myself sometimes forgetting I've made the same mistakes as others.  I develop a feeling about them and their decisions.  I publicly apologize because I have become judgmental in some sense and I have carried out as if I 'm not human.

We all make mistakes so let's not keep count!

A Change Can Come

Personally, I've made some poor decisions, bad choices, and done some things that I shouldn't have done. I've went places knowing better, got placed in situations that I knew I needed to get out of. I've felt trapped and chained and stuck with what I was calling my life and then one day something happened for me. The alarm went off in my soul and I realize how it is, isn't how it has to be.

Say No To Casual