The Importance of a Dad/Son Relationship...being Gay

We as gay men need our fathers more than what we realize.  The relationship with him would become a template from which our relationships with all other men would stem from.  Most young boys craved for love, affection, and tenderness from their dads.  As we all know, most male adolescences wouldn't receive anything close to this from the one they call dad.

The importance of it all is that we needed them to provide us a loving model of a male relationship.  Instead we were forced to deal with what was given by them, which was the best they could offer for us under certain circumstances, which was far less than what we actually needed as gay boys.  Our mothers were a different story.  They were often the main and sole source of a nurturing and loving relationship.  Some of our fathers were quite the opposite.

Don't get me wrong that's great that we have this awesome wonderful loving relationship with mom, but this left a big hole for us and our experience with men.  How do we relate to a man in a tender, loving and honest way when we don't have this kind of relationship with our own fathers. (The first man you loved)  Where was our role model for maintaining a lasting relationship between men (without a woman being involved).

As a result of this gay men were rarely able to have a close parental relationship with the gender they would grown to find erotic and want to love forever.  Do you now get how much of a disadvantage some of us are?  if not think about the heterosexual male.  They were able to have a close relationship with a nurturing and loving person of the gender that they would grow to be attracted to.  It doesn't mean they are better at relationships, but it means they had a template for what a close, loving relationship would be with their wives.